Wednesday, May 9, 2007

As it is...

While MOST visitors to my site will be VERY familiar with this scenario...I think the non-engineering people deserve a peek into what really goes into a semester in engineering.

Typically a semester spans 5 odd months (+ - a few weeks...). Out of these..4 months go away doing positively NOTHING AT ALL (Bunking lectures/pracs...cursing profs/lecturers...whiling away time in the canteen...and if you are from KJSIEIT, walking to/from the college!), a week goes off preparing and motivating oneself to study...a few days go off pretending to study..and the rest PROBABLY actually studying. Going by the proverb.."An empty mind is a devils workshop"..Satan must be having a blast in and around engineering campuses...

Now going into detail about each "period" in a semester, the 4 odd months are analogous to well, an extension of the vacation of sorts. The week involving preparations/self-motivation should be included in the Oxford dictionary as a perfect example of the word PROCRASTINATION (for the uninitiated...this is the "Chal, aaj raath ko chaloo karoonga...chal pukka kal subhe...etc period). This is followed by the period thats probably an art form of sorts..PRETENDING to study. After a lot of research and what not, it has scientifically and systematically been proved that during THIS period...people tend to have better than usual perception skills i.e they are much more sensitive to the environment around and the objects (read PARENTS) in them. It has also been noted that ones reflex improves by a factor of 10 during this period (..so that you can open up your book(s) and grab your pen JUST when you hear your mother/father approaching you). After warming up the brain cells as a result of the above exercises (AND the fear of incurring the wrath of the not-so-consistent KT war lords..) ...by this time..most drones of the Mumbai University start buying and rutting paper solutions (..a 1000 coins of gold go out to Jigar/Silver shot/Easy solutions for saving our lazy butts). The actual studying phase is akin to one of the World Wars...an inevitable evil.

Somewhere between the 3rd and final phase comes a VERY interesting entity; vivas. Now this is a whole different beast altogether. After 8 semesters i have FINALLY realized what exactly you need to crack the vivas; NO SHAME WHATSOEVER (...i.e...Being called a dumb ass/fool should make you jump with glee) AND..an uncanny ability to /BULLSHIT/...and mind you...this is some very very potent bullshit...the variety that will make even the external doubt himself. Once the fracas that the vivas are, come to an end...a mini vacation of sorts ensues. Following this phase, phone bills inflate multifold...to accomodate anxious, confused and WTF'd budding MU engineers. An example of the same has been provided below for your perusal:

MU Engg. student #1: "Hello!..Arre sun, kitna hua padke?"

MU Engg. student #2: "Arre math pooch yaar...phat raha hai...kuch nehi hua..."

MU Engg. student #1: "Arre, mereko batha na...yeh subject mein kya kya important hai..kuch samaj mein nehi aa raha...text/notes se important chapters aur uske page numbers batha na yaar.."

MU Engg. student #2: "Abhe, mein text book se sab nehi kar raha hai..paagal hai kya! Kal jaake Paper Solutions khareeda meine...usse bhi dekh tha hoon..kitne papers karna hai."

MU Engg. student #1: "Shit yaar, mere idhar paper solutions bhi nehi mil raha hai..ek kaam kar..tere paper solution ka xerox nikal..kal letha hoon."

...This generally goes on for the week or so preceeding the start of the exams. Usually, thanx to the lazy bums at MU (who act as role models for us!)...each exam is followed by a 3..4..5(upto 19 DAYS!) gap between exams. Obviously as you guessed it...no one in their right sense of mind studies during this time.

So there you have it...if you factor in the number of IDLE days in a semester (starting 4 months of doing NOTHIN...a mini vacation after the viva...an huge gaps between exams)...you will agree with me when i say, Engineering in the MU is one very long, expensive and monotonous holiday!

Cheers,
MyTHun

4 comments:

Shweta said...

hey it was really funny :D
keep posting funny blogs

arch said...

damn i love de way u write.... just makes me wanna laugh... n i completely agree wid whteva u say... though m gonna so miss this "vacation" considerin its gettin over...loved de part bout de vivas.....wish culd be shameless enuf...hehe....wuldve saved me buckets of tears...:)....

Maverick said...

1. saala... is baar toh pakka kt lagega...

2. yaar... ekdum aar paar hai... grace se hi nikal sakta hoon...

3. (on the morning of exam) abe yeh question definately paper mein aayega... mere sir ne bola hai (always from the chapter u left :)

4. b****c**** yeh linkedlist itna simple hai... main kitna bada c**** hoon... pehle kyun nahi kiya...

5. abe yeh out of syllabus hai...

6. (to person who sits in front of u) abe yaar... dosti ki kasam... aaj dikha de yaar :)

7. b*****c**** 70 marks toh kuch bhi feka hai...

8. abe yaar... kuch nahi padha... kal raat ko champions league ka final tha yaar... jaldi se kuch important bol...

and so on... :)

Anonymous said...

Argument between two engineers abt who has studied more.....
This disagreement often happens between them... And both of them try to prove who has studied more by making exaggerated and some times atrocious claims abt the other.....

(on phone during pl)
engg 1: Hi, kitna hua padhke....

engg 2: Arey pooch mat yaar mera kuch bhi nahii hua hai... lekin tera toh sab hogaya rahega (laughs)..

engg 1: Mera kuch nahi hua hai..... lekin saale mereko maalum hai tera sab subject padhke hogaya hai .. abhi toh tu revision kar raha hai... bol saale kitni baar revision kar raha hai...

engg 2: (trying to downplay him).. haan haan saale abhi c****** mat bana .. pata hai tu 70-70 perrcent leke aata hai mere itne naseeb kahaan...
(which he doesnt get since gettin 70% no less than gettin an oscar)

engg 1: b*** d* k* tera mere se zyaada aata hai aur mere ko bol raha hai..

Now both of them tired ...
engg 2: chal abhi shot ho raha hai , chal bye

and terminates the chat....