Thursday, May 31, 2007

DWM !@#$%^ piece of !@#$!

Guess i don't have to write a blog about this one eh??..the title says it all.

But frankly, neither am i sad...nor angry...nor worried. Im not sad simply because i didn't study a rats arse worth for this exam. Im not angry well...because, a mild natured guy! (ROTFL :D) And im not worried because i know i'll pass. I've written enough sensible/not so sensible crap in the paper to power my way to the 40(s).

So your obvious question (if at all) is, why didn't you study? Your paper would have been atleast /slighly/ better if you had. True, very not saying otherwise either. But the thing is, i never ever liked/like/will like Data Warehousing & Mining. It is an ELECTIVE (..the kinda subject one /ELECTS/ to take) that i was FORCED to take. Talk about an antithesis!! But seriously, the HOD forced us to take this..and the fact that 3/4th of the class thought/heard that it was scoring (..and in the process decided to forfeit the god given ability to think on THEIR OWN) didn't make it any better! Im sure had i been allowed to take Parallel paper would definitely been as good as the earlier 2 papers.

Either ways...paper #3 came to an end..good or bad, an end is an end.

Bu bye

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Half a year..

Has it ever happened to you...some ONE event or a series of events taking place over a period of time, entirely changing your perspective about, well...EVERYTHING? It's so earth-shaking, you start questioning every single belief of yours; WHY is this happening?..WHAT purpose does all of this serve?..WHEN it is ever gonna end..if at all?..WHY is it just me?..WHERE is this all gonna lead me to?

At this point of time in life, you only have questions...a lot of them, cropping up in your head. Its like this endless spiral. If this never ending twist towards nothingness ever ends with a HUGE "?" staring at you. Try as you may...none of anything thats happening seems to have any reasoning, explaination behind it. Its not the fact that strange things are happening that bugs/frustrates/irritates you...its the very lack of ANY reason/substance behind those occurances that drives you up the wall...repeatedly.

Afflicted (or AFFLiC73D ;) ), that's what i called myself the last few months. Why? Because thats exactly how i had been feeling. Its like having the Midas touch...but working the other way around. Anything i touched...either went up in vapours...or dangled long enough in front of me to get my hopes up just before it disappeared into oblivion.

I started the application process for pursuing a Master of Science course in the U S of A in the month of November. Having joined a counselor (Kraft Education Services....highly NOT recommened!!)..i got the ball rolling. Back then, everything seemed nice and dandy. Looking at everyone and everything around me, i realized i stood just as good a chance of getting into a decent university/course of my choice as anyone else. I had decent academics (atleast on par with those around me)...decent extra-curriculars (..again atleast on par with others) and whatever else thats needed to land me in the U S of A. Or so i thought...

After the endless running around for everything from recommendation letters to financial documents to a hundred copies of what not...i started applying to by one..from the last week of December. After much deliberation and spending exactly infinite hours over the internet, i zeroed in on 7 universities that piqued my interest for various reasons and which seemed to accept students with a profile similar to mine. Neways, to list them out...University of Southern California (applied a lil later), Syracuse Univ, Northeastern Univ, Illinois Inst. of Tech, Rochester Inst. of Tech, Auburn Univ and Louisiana State Univ. This was a list of moderate to safe universities...hadn't applied to any of the "ambitious" univs since i didn't want my dreaded LUCK to play any part in my admissions. Having finshed sending the online applications in the 1st week of January and the application packets by the 2nd all i could do was wait an watch.

Since i had poured in months worth of research into the university selection procedure, i thought my admission procedure was gonna be pretty undramatic. I mean, based on a number of factors, i sorta knew where i would almost definitely get an admit and where the chances were a lil less. So became a daily ritual of sorts now...checking the application status for each univeristy one by was the first thing i did when i woke up every single day. 3 weeks or so went by uneventful...i slowly started hearing about people getting admits/rejects here and there. Neways,i had to wait till the 7th of February to get to know my first DECISION. IIT replied...and much to my the negative; apparently my academics were LOW! (Since when is a MU 1st class LOW?! :). Ranked a distant 84, this was by far one of my 100% safes. I still cannot believe that i got a reject from these guys... Neways.."6 more to go.." i consoled myself. Oh, how stupid i was...

12th February, Syracuse Univeristy kisses me goodbye..and unlike IIT, they didn't even bother giving me a reason for my rejection; even after i explicitly sent them an email asking for the same. "5 more...quite a bit left.."...Come 20th February, RIT sends me a mail saying..."you suck, ciao". To tell you the truth...the RIT reject is what completely changed my outlook towards the whole "Applying for an MS" thingy...this university wasn't in the top 100...accepted almost everyone ..people with MUCH lower profiles had got in with SCHOLARSHIPS. I was stone cold stunned to get a reject from them. Neways...completely heart broken...i waited for the remaining "REJECTS". And i soon got one from Auburn on the 6th of March and this one gave me the most mailto:%21@#$ed reason of the lot for my rejection. Apparently, everyone from MU whom they had accepted had a "First class with distinction" in every semester and i ONLY had a pass class in my /first/ year (thanks to Mech!). These guys seriously think of us as daft fools who'll aceept whatever bull they throw at us...but then again, i dont think we have any option but to do so...Neways...3 more to go...and at the rate things were going, i had almost completely ruled out ANY chances of me going to the US for a MS this time arnound. I had immediately ruled out ANY chances of gettin into Northeastern or LSU (..i was proved right later in case of NEU...LSU, i deferred the app thinking of trying for Spring'08). By this time, everyone had atleast ONE admit..and trust me, with ONE in hand...a 100 rejects are inconsequential.

I still don't know why i did it (probably the fact that effectively only one more Univ was left..USC and the fact that pursuing an MS has been both mine and my parents dream since eons..led me to do it)..but i applied to 2 more universities...George Washington Univ (same league as Northeastern, Auburn etc) and SUNY Binghamton..ranked 124, on the 17th of March. Once again, i was kinda sure SUNY wud reply in the affirmative...but these guys were the swiftest in telling a week flat. With a reject from a univ ranked 124...i officially gave up ANY hope of an MS and decided to stop thinking about it and get on with life. But i couldn't..not with someone or the other getting an admit every alternate day or so...i had forgot how it felt to get a sound sleep. It had been weeks since i /SLEPT/ and not just lie flat on the bed staring at the nothingness. My mom was depressed...although she tried to make the best of it. Dad, well...ego getting the better of him, would be totally "OK" about it all infront of me...but i've heard plenty of times about how worried/sad he was about the whole thing from my mom.

March went by, so did April...and most of May. Each day seemed to last forever. USC were mum...they had a standard reply (if they ever replied that is!)..."Few more weeks.."...and GWU was well..stagnant too. By now almost everyone had wrapped off their application phase and moved onto the visas...And i was each day as it came. Until the 24th of May that is. I doubt im gonna be able to forget this day ever in my life. Just as i was studying for an exam...during one of my routine breaks i sat down to check my mail. I had just 2 new bull...and the other not-so-bull. It was from GWU's ECE department. My hands were trembling (..i was accustomed to this by now...) ... and although i was used to rejection by now...the thought of ANOTHER was proving to be heart achingly painful. I opened the mail after some 2mins...and inside lay a very non-descript message...

..." A decision regarding your application has been made. We cannot reveal this decision to you over the phone/e-mail. Kindly wait for 2-3 weeks to get a post regarding the same." The lack of the usual CONGRATULATIONS or other such HAPPY words in the message, which i had seen in everyone elses admit messages sent shivers down my spine. In my mind, i was 99.99% sure this was yet another reject. But i just wanted to CONFIRM it for my satisfaction. I logged into GWUs online application status page...AND I SAW IT! I BLOODY SAY IT FOR THE FIRST TIME! The words..."Congratulations!"...frankly...I did not bother reading ANYTHING after that! I didn't matter!...Congratulations can only be a GOOD thing (unless they were VERY VERY sick saddists..) and a GOOD THING HAPPENED TO ME! I finally had an admit...after SIX long, agonizin, painful, depressing months! And the best part...this was from a pretty damn decent university WITH consideration for a scholarship/Assistanceship! I mean...univs one and 3 ranks above this had rejected me (Auburn/NEU)...but these guys WANTED me! I was thrilled to dad and bro who were at home then...were elated...many calls were made in a matter of few seconds. My mom, who had gone out came back home to see 3 guys...jumping around SENSELESS!

I frankly dont care for USC anymore...but yea, if it does'll only make me feel even better (..alhtough confused too) and i might take that up...but i dunno...lets just see how things pan out.

At the end...some (...all those who bothered reading it till the end!) must have found this blog to be a drag..some a pain..some inspirational..i dunno. To each his/her own. All i can tell you life as it comes...each day. You have to accept the fact that many things in life aren't in your just gotta accept what comes to you..and try and make the best of it. All this...and the fact that application for MS in the a game of poker where you need luck by your side...and a LOT of it. Oh this, and the fact that counselors are !##$in USELESS. Anyone thinking of applying for an MS...drop in a line via email guys...i'll help you out however i possibly can.

Bu bye

P.S: Aditi, Shweta, Uddip..guys you've stuck with me like glue through this u all (..Uddip, in a non-gay sorta way :D)..and to everyone else who stuck by me and didn't let me lose hope..THANKS A TONNE! U dunno how much it meant to me! :)

..Aur MMS kaisa tha?..

...Accha tha. And todays paper included some calculated thokofying (..aah..what im really good at.. :p).

Firstly, this is a...ummm...WEIRD subject. Its not really difficult, quite the opposite actually. Its just that you honestly don't know what to study and from where!! The text book says "..A=B", the notes say.."Muahaha u dumb ass A=X" and the paper solutions say..."You slow dog from another milky way... therz no A only!"...So yea, in the tend to scratch your head thinkin wtf is happening and why the hell am i in engineering?! (..altho after spending almost 4 yrs..its a lil too late to be asking that question i suppose..)

So yea, getting back to the paper...luckily (...LOL..not so fer Patil!! :D) the first question wasn't the usual compulsory question. Upon going through the paper the first time, it seemed more like my /normal/ papers (..where i dunno half the stuff). So i was like...Meh, whteva...50-60ish attempt probably. But once i started writing and read the questions more closely...i ended up attempting about 90. This did include some thokofying/fekofying etc as mentioned above...but it was all CALCULATED crap...and this kinda crap isnt necessarily bad. (..actually its THIS kinda crap that gets you most marks haan...more so than your right answers!)

So yea, all in all...a decent nuff paper.

P.S: Mega update tom...will try putting up a huge, but...ummm good (i hope) blog. :) do see it!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

System Security...How was it?...

...Pretty damn good to tell you the truth!

Seriously, i never ever thought, a day would come when i would actually say i enjoyed writing a paper. But it did! And that day was TODAY!!

Today was the first..of the last. And im glad my Sem VIII exams started of with a BANG (and im REALLY glad this is not the usual...BANG...a bullet goes through my head and my half rotten brain cells ooze out from the other end...that happened a LOT with those wretched Mechanics exams..).

To tell you the truth, i had decided that this being the last semester of engineering, i'll atleast make honest attempts to study...and i for one found SS to be pretty interesting..(Viruses...routers...firewalls...cryptography...the works!). So yea, all prepared..i headed into the classroom to take my best shot at what MU had in store for me.

The moment i saw the first (which as usual...was a compulsory question..) i was kinda relieved.."Chal, 20 marks tho thokna nehi padega..". But that wasnt it! I ended up attempting ONE HUNDRED FRIGGIN MARKS in a MU paper! Holy shit!..i mean seriously people...HOLY SHIT!..and i din't have to thokofy ANYTHING! Thrilled at the end of it...i actually thought to myself..."Damn, it pays to study AT TIMES."

Neways...every coin has 2 sides...someone or something had to pay the price for so many things going right today and that something happens to be my right hand. Man..IT HURTS.../A LOT/. I just pray the doc doesnt say that there is some internal haemorrhage and he'll have to amputate it. happiness will be really shortlived! :p

Monday, May 14, 2007

In the name of religion...

I read a blog, by my friend Archana (which can be found here: )
...its kinda sad (and stupid) that we, humans, who so vehemently differentiate ourselves from other "animals" often end up shooting ourselves in our foot. If only other animals could communicate in a language we understood...we would have prolly been the butt of all their jokes.

Neways, since music plays a very important part in my just struck me that there's a beautiful song by Alms for Shanti called makes perfect sense especially when put against what i have stated above (and what Archana her blog). Here go the lyrics...

Alms For Shanti - Kashmakash
Kasmakash hai talaash hai sadiyon purani yeh pyaas hai
Chale us raste hum haste, jab dukh hai, josh aur dum
Chal hai chal, bola yeh man, tut jane ka yeh jatan
Jana hai pana hai gehraayion mein, khone ki lagan

Is par vaz main hain kayi raaz, rang, rasdi girvaaj
Kuch bujhle, kuch dhundle, kuch simte, kuch bikhre se
Jang ko hila hai chandi nadiyan, ye dariyan tez paani ka bahaav
Moksha hai haath ke daav
Kho gaya hai mera sapna
Bharam toota mera
Lut gaya jo tha apna
Kadam behke zara

Guru dakshina shaant atma
Paisa diya mila Parmatma
Shraddha saiyam duur hua bhram, lambe kash bas nikla dharam
Ab woh dhuyan kahaan mit gaye, sab disha kaisa yeh samaan
Khali khali hai yeh jahaan
Kho gaya hai mera sapna
Bharam toota mera
Lut gaya jo tha apna
Kadam behke zara

Dekho khatam hua yeh khel
Patri par se utri yeh rail
Maaro kaanto, aahe baton
Ilzam do dharam ko
Dharam toh hai sacchi neeyat
Sacchi neeyat hai insaniyat
Mutthi mein hai apni kismat
Kho gaya hai mera sapna
Bharam toota mera
Lut gaya jo tha apna
Kadam behke zara

Kho gaya hai mera sapna
Bharam toota mera
Lut gaya jo tha apna
Kadam behke zara

Kho gaya hai mera sapna
Bharam toota mera
Lut gaya jo tha apna
Kadam behke zara

Please do listen to this it up..well worth it.

*Oh btw...speaking of searching for songs on google, to make it easier for you..type the following:
?intitle:index.of? mp3 "name of the song" (Without the " " )... see for yourself! :)

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

As it is...

While MOST visitors to my site will be VERY familiar with this scenario...I think the non-engineering people deserve a peek into what really goes into a semester in engineering.

Typically a semester spans 5 odd months (+ - a few weeks...). Out of these..4 months go away doing positively NOTHING AT ALL (Bunking lectures/pracs...cursing profs/lecturers...whiling away time in the canteen...and if you are from KJSIEIT, walking to/from the college!), a week goes off preparing and motivating oneself to study...a few days go off pretending to study..and the rest PROBABLY actually studying. Going by the proverb.."An empty mind is a devils workshop"..Satan must be having a blast in and around engineering campuses...

Now going into detail about each "period" in a semester, the 4 odd months are analogous to well, an extension of the vacation of sorts. The week involving preparations/self-motivation should be included in the Oxford dictionary as a perfect example of the word PROCRASTINATION (for the uninitiated...this is the "Chal, aaj raath ko chaloo karoonga...chal pukka kal subhe...etc period). This is followed by the period thats probably an art form of sorts..PRETENDING to study. After a lot of research and what not, it has scientifically and systematically been proved that during THIS period...people tend to have better than usual perception skills i.e they are much more sensitive to the environment around and the objects (read PARENTS) in them. It has also been noted that ones reflex improves by a factor of 10 during this period ( that you can open up your book(s) and grab your pen JUST when you hear your mother/father approaching you). After warming up the brain cells as a result of the above exercises (AND the fear of incurring the wrath of the not-so-consistent KT war lords..) this time..most drones of the Mumbai University start buying and rutting paper solutions (..a 1000 coins of gold go out to Jigar/Silver shot/Easy solutions for saving our lazy butts). The actual studying phase is akin to one of the World inevitable evil.

Somewhere between the 3rd and final phase comes a VERY interesting entity; vivas. Now this is a whole different beast altogether. After 8 semesters i have FINALLY realized what exactly you need to crack the vivas; NO SHAME WHATSOEVER (...i.e...Being called a dumb ass/fool should make you jump with glee) uncanny ability to /BULLSHIT/...and mind you...this is some very very potent bullshit...the variety that will make even the external doubt himself. Once the fracas that the vivas are, come to an end...a mini vacation of sorts ensues. Following this phase, phone bills inflate accomodate anxious, confused and WTF'd budding MU engineers. An example of the same has been provided below for your perusal:

MU Engg. student #1: "Hello!..Arre sun, kitna hua padke?"

MU Engg. student #2: "Arre math pooch yaar...phat raha hai...kuch nehi hua..."

MU Engg. student #1: "Arre, mereko batha na...yeh subject mein kya kya important hai..kuch samaj mein nehi aa raha...text/notes se important chapters aur uske page numbers batha na yaar.."

MU Engg. student #2: "Abhe, mein text book se sab nehi kar raha hai..paagal hai kya! Kal jaake Paper Solutions khareeda meine...usse bhi dekh tha hoon..kitne papers karna hai."

MU Engg. student #1: "Shit yaar, mere idhar paper solutions bhi nehi mil raha hai..ek kaam kar..tere paper solution ka xerox nikal..kal letha hoon."

...This generally goes on for the week or so preceeding the start of the exams. Usually, thanx to the lazy bums at MU (who act as role models for us!)...each exam is followed by a 3..4..5(upto 19 DAYS!) gap between exams. Obviously as you guessed one in their right sense of mind studies during this time.

So there you have it...if you factor in the number of IDLE days in a semester (starting 4 months of doing NOTHIN...a mini vacation after the huge gaps between exams) will agree with me when i say, Engineering in the MU is one very long, expensive and monotonous holiday!


Friday, May 4, 2007


I saw this movie, Provoked : The True Story...finally, after having it on my harddisk for close to a week. The reason i wasn't too keen on watchin the movie was well...because of my previous experience with an Aishwarya Rai (err..Bacchan?) starring, english movie...The Mistress of Spices. That movie, in my eyes was merely used to showcase, Aishwarya...not even her acting skills (not that she has a lot of it..).

Therefore with much apprehension and the determination to do ANYTHING apart from studying, i fired up Provoked : The True Story. I'll make it short and sweet; this is how the movie goes:

Kiranjit Ahluwalia (Aishwarya) kills her husband Deepak Ahluwalia (Naveen Andrews...of LOST fame) while he was in bed (the medium used to take his life is petrol+candle). The reason? Unlike how the begining of the movie portrays her to be "Noorie gone mad"...Kiranjit has been at the receiving end of her husbands abusive behaviour for 10 long years. However, the cops find evidence (the can used to carry the petrol) that nails Kiranjit as the perpetrator. Oh that, and the word of her drunk husband who was asleep when he was set ablaze. Neways, inspite of her lawyer Miriam Taylor's (..the attractive Rebecca Pidgeon) "semi-best" efforts...the edivence presented at that time and Kiranjit's umm..stereotypical "Perfect Indian housewife" attitude lands her behind bars for murder. In jail, apart from the usual bullies/dopers/prostitutes/"oooo im mean" wannabes...she meets her cell mate, Veronica Ronnie (..the charming Miranda Richardson) who inspires her to well..get over her guilt, shame blah blah and kick some ass. In the mean time, Radha Dalal (the fiery Nandita Das) and her band of merry people (who call themselves The Southhall Black Sisters)..a womens rights organization try to do their part in getting Kiranjit out. After having some brains drilled into her by her inspirational cell mate, Kiranjit finally decides to appeal against her sentence (and TADAA!..Her cell mates brother happens to be a Barristor in Her Majesty's council!)..and well..sorta wins and gets out of jail. Im skipping the part where the mother-in-law testifies against her daughter-in-law in court for no apparent reason and a constable does the same...again, for no apparent reason.

Frankly, they could have definitely cast some other actress instead of Aishwarya to play the role of Kiranjit. Not that she's doing a bad job...just that she is too damn glamourous to do the role any justice. As one of the cell mates calls her..."The Indian Barbie." They probably cast her as eyecandy to drive in SOME people to watch the movie here in India. Also, they have simply WASTED Nandita Das in this movie. There are a couple of of them being the way in which the judge conviniently forgets how Kiranjit had been abused for 10 years before she resorted to do what she wasn't one slap that instigated her. Likewise, for no reason AT ALL, the mother-in-law and the constable go cookoo in court. This apparently, is a true i cant question the chain of events that actually occured. But still, it just leaves behind a void. My conclusion? It is a reasonable movie...which superficially covers the disturbing act of domestic violence with women being the victims. Could have done with a little more depth.

Bu bye,


Thursday, May 3, 2007

Agony of a shitty connection.

...Atlast!!!....a working Http link for Need For Speed:Most Wanted!!....yaaaay!....copy link,open Getright,paste link...start download...yippie!

And then it strikes me!!!....69Hrs for 700Mb.....HOLY MOTHER OF JEWISH CLOWNS!!..THATS A LONG TIME! But i don't have much of a choice with a 64K connection i suppose,so i crib,mutter the choicest words at my cablewala and let the download continue,all the while thinking of the speeds my friend's get...not that its gonna help me much anyways!

So...a whole day passes by....65Hrs for 650Mb,seems almost as if time has frozen.But then,i console myself sayin...its just 3 days of continuous downloading,not all that bad eh? True,if only my dad doesn't check the mail a 100 times a day....if only i didn't have to talk with 100 ppl online....if only i didn't have 100 lil 2mb pieces of software to download in the middle! You see,a 64K connection is not very MULTI TASKING friendly...i keep something for download and commit the horrible mistake of chatting with someone,rest assured,the message i type at 7.43PM will reach the intended recipient EXACTLY at 8.43PM...kinda defies the very purpose of "Instant" Messaging doesn't it?

Either ways...3 days turns 6,which in turn becomes 9...but then finally i see some light at the end of a rather long,dark,slow,disconnection prone tunnel....90% of the download done....about 6 more hours to go,thats digestable i presume.

Either ways,after much pain and agony (and cursing), the download is finally done. All happy an all,i go about announcing it to the world+dog,until it hits me like a rather heavy/large egg....THAT WAS JUST CD 1....HOLY BAZOOKAS!...3 MORE CD'S TO GO!!....this is when i go through the now,everyday practice of muttering the choicest words at my cablewala,thinking about the speeds my friend's know..the usual cycle.

After almost an entire month....ITS FINALLY !@#$% DONE!!!!...i immidiately run out to the temple,armed with a coconut and tell the priest to do the needful.Then i run back home just as fast...eager to Unzip the game...ignoring the 20 diferent IM windows that have popped up...ignoring my mom's call for lunch...ignoring my body's urge to relieve itself of some weight..:)

Alright....after the usual virus scan an all....the moment of truth has arrived...Unzipping CD1...10...50...100%...OK....Unzipping CD2...10...50...100%..OK...Unzipping CD3...10...50...100%..OK...(NOTE: It doesn't really go that fast....its a lot slower....teasing you all the while...) and then finally....CD4...10...50...70...90...99%......its then i realize....WAIT A SEC....ITS BEEN AT 99% A TAD TOO LONG FOR COMFORT....this thought is followed by repeated chanting of the gayatri mantra...kissing the monitor...patting the CPU...anything that WONT/SHOULD NOT really help,but i do it anyways....but then 99%...."CRC FAILURE.The File is corrupt,please obtain another copy and try again." left speechless....all the life sucked outta me....and its then i think about what might have gone wrong,perhaps TWO coconuts would have helped me out?

Bu bye

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Hear ye..hear ye!

Ola peepul...
I am in the process of shiftin base from MSN My Space to Blogger fer a multitude of reasons (:D)...

So i'll b transferrin blogs from My Space to blogger over a period of the next few days...People who have been reading my blogs regularly will have to wait a few days before i start up with new stuff. Those who havn't read my earlier blogs...FEAST YOUR EYES on them! LOL


The "Engineer"...

Seriously,i can't even think of life on earth w/o my PC...i can go w/o food,water,peeing for multiple days...but not w/o my PC.And i care more for/about my PC than anything/anybody else....could say i am obsessed with it even!

So,by now you must have figured it out that my PC is my most prized possession and since it means more to me than anything else on god's green earth,the mere thought of some stranger who calls himself an "Engineer" (hahahaha) even touching it w/ a 10 feet pole freaks every living stem cell in my 5 9" 68Kg body.

So in today's blog,i'll try my level best to prove why your friendly neighbourhood computer dealers Engineer is a bl00dy fool....

Alright, i just googled up the exact definition of the word "Engineer" so as to provide some credence to the statements that will follow soon...

"An engineer is someone who practices the engineering profession; a professional practitioner of engineering; someone who uses scientific knowledge to solve practical problems and produce goods for society."

Now,using the method of contradiction,i shall prove that the so called "Engineer" is anything but one.

"An engineer is someone who practices the engineering profession..." ......statement (1)

Ok,that one is just bl00dy obvious....The only profession that the guy who can barely speak english and who himself doesn't know what he's doing and hence tries his level best to avoid/dodge the questions you throw at him practices is,the profession of fooling innocent..nanhe munhe...pyare pyare gullible people..:)..i don't suppose there is any engineering involved in it and hence i say he's NOT an engineer.

"...someone who uses scientific knowledge to solve practical problems and produce goods for society." ......statement (2) sorry...but that was just too to fit that guy into that is gonna be good....

Ok,now i will take an example to further substantiate my arguement:

D00D:"Arre,my PC keeps making some weird sound..Buzzz....Boooze...something like that...what could be the problem?"

(Note:I have skipped the part wherein you have to wait for about a week after you actually called the dealer who promises you that the "Engineer" will be at your place the next day at 13.25 Hrs....)

Pseudo Engineer:" .... "

D00D:"Well?...what could be the problem...?"

Pseudo Engineer:"...i (will) check and tell..."


5...10...15mins go by....and the guy is still to open the case.
Finally...he manages to open the damn thing...*Drum rolls*

D00D:"...So,problem kya hai?" *Now a lil impatient*

Psuedo Engineer:"Actually i need to make a phone(call) ...i need to ask something..."

D00D:...WT* for!! din't even do anything!!

Pseudo Engineer then dials a number...talks to some guy in the office...and then keeps the phone down.

Pseudo Engineer:"Sir, we has(ve) to format (the) PC..."


Pseudo Engineer:"It will works(work) after that sir...."

An hour goes by...the PC is still making the buzzing sound...and the d00d is at his wits end seeing all his data/games/MP3's fly away like the birdie...After the format,the pseudo engineer gets up...scratches his head...kind of perplexed himself hearing the persistant BUZZing...and says..."Another phone(call) i have to make sir..."

D00D:*Rolls eyes*

After the call....

Pseudo Engineer:"Sir,aapka PC mein kuch gadbad hai..."

D00D:".....YOU THINK SO TOO....???..WOW!"

...this cycle goes on...and on...until the PC itself gets frustrated looking at the Pseudo Engineer screwing around and stops buzzing...

Alright,from the above conversation...i came up with this definition of the Pseudo Engineer...

"A Pseudo Engineer is someone who practices the Pseudo Engineering profession; a professional practitioner of Pseudo Engineering; someone who uses his broken english and ability to make phone calls to solve anything but the actual problem and produce much more problems for society."

But this completely contradicts statement (1) and (2) made above.

Therefore,by the method of contradiction..we have proved that the guy your dealer sends over to skroo up your PC is a bumbling baboon belting out broken english and hence is not fit to be called an engineer.

BTW,the problem with the PC was some dust clogging the fan which in turn was causing the buzzing sound...

Bu bye